I couldn't wait to take off my shoes
toes cramping, screaming for freedom,
longing for the comforting nestle
within blades of green so willing.
Quickly I peeled the golf shirt from my back
and plotzed down into the beckoning carpet.
Mother nature yearned for her clay creation
to again become one with the terra.
I rolled and frolicked like a springtime puppy;
legs straight up, arms flailing.
Laughter climbed the branches of the crab apple
as it looked down in pity on my wretched carcass.
Its' leaves almost seemed to shake and shudder,
sorrow woven in the blanket of olive and celery.
I thought I could hear pounding
the sound of the earth's heartbeat.
Yet, I paid no heed, gave no cause
save to relish in this moment of child's play.
God it felt good.
Felt good to wrestle in the grass.
God it smelt good.
The smell only new mowed grass can exhale.
And for a moment,
yeah though only for a held breath or two.
Once again I was a child,
playing in my daddy's front yard.
Not a care in the world.
God it felt good.
God it smelt good.
Thanks.

-13-

I will cling steadfastly
to all which is allowed within my grasp.
I will clutch it tightly, entirely,
through my knuckles loose their hue of pale.
Yet I must accept and realize...truth.
A truth that says:
In holding on so tightly,
the tearing away, if it happens
will be so much more excruciating.
Still I must offer - no less than everything,
without thought of failure or loss.
Only in that way,
can I, will I, ever be able to
Love.
Again!

-15-

City of Death
copyright 2002

My heart weights heavy as it pounds hard within my chest
A pounding so loud it rings in my ears,
drowning out the cries of the dying.
My eyes glow red from crying, crying for peace;
What can justify, what can give rise
to such horrid violence, the loss of children?
The blood of two peoples runs together
as it is washed into the sewers of this great city.
O' Jerusalem, Jerusalem how I wish I could shield you,
how I wish I could take away your misery.
Will men finally seek peace, or will they as always
grasp it when all other options fail?
The Eternal City of G-d, rise up the scream: Enough!
Tell those within your walls and within your sight
Enough already!  No more dying in the name of holiness.
Quickly come the night, envelope the shuddering frame
of this wretched piece of earth, most blessed, most cursed
of all cities in this physical world.
Promised land, holy land, land of strife, land of death,
weep for all your children, moan until your shoulders sag.
Yet is it for naught?  Your residents quarrel.
Maybe it would have been better for all mankind,
had you never been born, built, walled.
Weep no more for the skeletons, but wail for the living.
Those who must live and try to go on living
in this city of the Dead.

-23-

I stand in the middle of nowhere
Wondering: am I Lost,
Or am I found?  It's so empty.

I shake my head, the sand blows.
The dust does not close my eyes
Nor scalding wind stifle my breath.

Above me a cold burning orb
Looks on and laughs a ghastly
Hurtful belly laugh.  Mocking.

Whenever I turn there is...nothing.
How did I get here?  I'm so empty.
Where do I go from here?

I blink to clear the vision.
Only I am standing in my kitchen.
Where have I gone,
How did I get back?

When can I go...again?

-29-

the flame burns low then goes out.
The spark of passion rises no more.
I look at you and feel...nothing.

It's cold, yet it's 100 outside.
Maybe it's the look on your face.
The blank stare, the lifeless hue.

I no longer feel the need for you.
Nor you the need for me.
I chill in your presence.

No, the thrill is gone, the fire cold.
and we love,
no more.

-37-

Cry softly in the night
cry, cry for loves lost
weep for others with same sorrow
ache for the lonely

Breath not the still born air
lifeless, loveless, forlorn
ere shadows creep anew
bringing dawn and sobs of anguish.

Cry, cry for those alone
who like yourself yearn and seek
groping, grasping, seeking
but finding naught only empty solace.

Rage against self pity
defend against despair
go with longing deep longing
for all is seldom lost.

Continue to look for sunlight
the dawning of new beginnings
forge strength to struggle onward
seeking until happiness abounds.